Monday, August 17, 2009

Content

Ever since I experienced my first year of teaching, I get a little nostalgic during this time of year. Teachers are getting their rooms ready, shopping for supplies, hanging posters, buying tons of folders, organizing..... all the things I loved about teaching. Parents are going back to school clothes shopping, taking their supply list to Wal Mart, making sure they have lunch boxes and lunchables. Since I quit teaching, when back to school time arrives, I feel a little bummed. Like I should be doing something that I wasn't. I sigh a little when I pass the school supply aisle. I knew being at home with my children was what God wanted for me, and I really was happy. But part of me missed being the teacher getting ready to go back to school.

Last year, I tutored for the school where I had taught. Finally, September rolled around and I was the one doing lesson plans, reading educational books, and organizing! I was excited!! I savored sitting in the work room, planning lessons, making out a scope and sequence, and making posters. It felt good to be back!

But as the year went on, I started to not look forward to my tutoring sessions. Rather than being optimistic, and thinking I could help every child that was sent my way, I found myself longing to be home, with my kids. What happened to that beginning of the school year excitement? Was I just burned out? Were we as a family just doing too much?

By the time April rolled around, and I finished my time tutoring, I had figured it out! Even though there were parts of me that longed to be back in the classroom, my heart was at home. That's where God wanted me. That was His plan for me and for our family.

This year, I'm experiencing the back to school excitement in a new way. Rather than being nostalgic, I'm content. I know that home is where God wants me, and I want God's will for my life. And even though there is a big part of me that is anxious about what our first year of homeschooling will bring, I'm content. I am convinced that God laid the desire to homeschool on my heart, and Curtis' heart. I am convinced that homeschooling is what is best for our family. And I'm excited to see how our family will grow as we rest in the contentment of knowing we are in God's will.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Wow, you're smart. It took me a much longer time to learn that contentment follows seeking and then following the Spirit of God.

Enjoy celebrating the new starts before you.
Daddy

Kierstyn said...

Thanks Dad! You know why I'm so smart? Because I was homeschooled! ;-)