Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The kids' thoughts

Isn't God good to give us laughter during times of sadness? My children provided many laughable moments during our time in Oklahoma. I've already forgotten many of the sweet, innocent things they said during our time with my family, but here are a few moment that touched me and gave me the smile I needed.

My Papa loved to wiggle his ears. He would amuse the kids with this amazing ability, and even caught unsuspecting adults off guard. While we were at the funeral home, seeing Papa for the last time, I looked over to see Benjamin, with his finger in Papa's ear, wiggling his finger. I asked him why he was doing this. Benjamin stopped, looked up at me and said, "Remember when he used to wiggle his ears?"

Melted my heart!!

Micah seemed to be the most saddened by Papa's death. While Elizabeth was able to logically think through her grief, Micah was just left with grief that he didn't know what to do with. It was very important to him that he saw Papa.

When we first walked over to the casket, Micah was very timid and nervous. I told him he could touch Papa, and love on Papa if he wanted. He quickly responded, "You do it first!"

After I loved on Papa's hands, and saw Micah was doing okay, I turned my attention to Elizabeth, who was fine, but very hesitant about the whole situation. As I turned my attention back to Micah, I saw that he was sweetly rubbing Papa's hair, his face and his hands. The love that he had for Papa was clear.

Benjamin gave us several moments of comic relief. We had to open the entire casket to "make sure they put his legs in" and to confirm that they had put shoes on Papa. We also chuckled when Benjamin told Micah, "Quit touching him! You'll wake him up!"

As we were getting ready to leave, Micah asked me, "Why do I have to say good-bye? Can't we just come see him here again next time we're in Hokahoma?" It was hard to tell him no.

Walking this road of grief has been hard just for me. Walking it with my children has proved challenging. But how thankful I am for them!

Life goes on

We said good-bye.....

... and then hello.

In God's sovereign, ironic timing, we said good-bye to my Papa on the 21st. Less than 36 hours later, on the 23rd, we said hello to my new nephew, Ephram Brant Wilson.

We all rejoiced over the safe arrival of Ephram. But I'm pretty sure that his arrival took our breath away! When I called my best friend to let her know of Ephram's birth, I way completely overwhelmed by the emotions I was going through. A minute before hearing of Ephram's birth, I had been on the phone with one of my Papa's dear friends.

Last Christmas, at my Uncle's funeral service, my mom (or maybe it was Shannon?) rubbed Megan's belly, and asked Papa what he thought about that new baby (his 6th great-grandchild). Papa shrugged his shoulders and said, "Life goes on."

And since I know Papa's words are true, I rejoice and mourn, cry happy and sad tears at the same time, and go on with my life, thankful that the Lord giveth, and taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Sunday, April 24, 2011


In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Preparing to Grieve.

My Papa (my Mom's Dad) is in the final days of his life.

And while Curtis and I have gone through the process of losing someone close to us, our children have not. Micah in particular is having a very hard time with the thought of losing his Papa. This morning before co-op, he was really struggling. He was being angry, cranky, and just not himself. When I asked him why he was acting the way he was, he cried and said, "I don't want Papa to die!" So before we left for co-op, I printed off these pictures for each of the kids to take.

My grandparents meeting Elizabeth for the first time.
Meeting Micah for one of the first times.

The last time my kids saw Papa.

While it would be easy for me to look up all the various ways experts tell you to help your child through grief, we're just taking it one day at a time. By the grace of God, we're doing okay.

Please keep my family in your prayers. A lot has happened in the past few months (my Grandma's cancer diagnosis, my Papa's fall, my Uncle's death), and it's hard to see God's goodness. But we know it's there. Please also pray for Curtis and I as we seek to minister to my mom, Grandma, and our children.

Friday, April 08, 2011

The first signs of summer

We have leaves on our tree in the back yard.

The temperature is on the rise.

The humidity is ridiculous.

My older children have started asking about when we get to go to the pool.

And I have to keep my freezer stocked with.....

Signs that summer will be here before I know it.

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Just a year?

What is really just a year ago that I took this picture of my four kiddos?

Now look at them!!!
Who said they could go from this......
.... to this......
in the blink of an eye?! Though still the same.....
...they're all so much bigger!!
I'm so thankful for the sweet baby faces.....
.... that are growing strong and healthy.
Even if it means that my baby......
.... is turning into a little boy.
Has it really been just a year?!

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this past year!

Friday, April 01, 2011

April Fools Fail

I don't like April Fools, because usually, I'm the fool. I tend to be the kind of person who willingly believes what I hear. But not this year! This year, I was going to be the one to play the joke!

This morning, Curtis and I both changed our relationship status on Facebook to "it's complicated".

I thought it was pretty funny that it said, "It's complicated with Curtis Krajca". So very true, Facebook!

Unfortunately, my friends were on to me. My first attempt at an April Fool's joke was a big fail. Sigh. Oh well.

Now I will be spending the rest of the day reminding myself not to believe every pregnancy announcement I hear.....