Benjamin's 7th year

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View of Marriage

The above song, Dancing In the Mine Fields, has quickly become a favorite song of mine.  As Curtis and I continue on this adventure of marriage, I see more and more how the lyrics are very true.



"I do" are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I've heard
Is a good place to begin

'Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down
And I believe it's an easy price
For the life that we have found

And we're dancing in the minefields
We're sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for



In the past several years, Curtis and I have been blessed to have several couples come into our home.  These couples have encouraged us, helped us, made us smile and become a part of our children's lives.  They've babysat, come to baseball games and soccer game, done crafts with us and have just been apart of the daily life of our family.  Our desire and goal for these friendships is to encourage these young couples as they head toward marriage.  

What a joy and privilege it's been to stand witness as two of the couples who've become a part of our lives have entered into marriage!

When Curtis and I first opened our homes to a young couple, I felt the need to be perfect.  Curtis wisely and quickly reminded me that we aren't perfect, our home wasn't perfect and our children are for sure not perfect.  We are simply two sinners, navigating marriage and life, attempting to bring glory to our Savior.  We're not asked to be perfect.  So these young couples have seen the daily side of marriage.  They've seen the work.  They've seen the frustration.  But hopefully, they've also seen the grace. The sweetness. The love.  All Curtis and I can do is show them Jesus and his Word.

Though marriage is hard, harder than we'd dreamed, it's a beautiful blessing.  Frequently, we refer to ourselves as Team Krajca.  Through the example of our parents and godly couples that have been placed in our life, Curtis and I have learned that marriage is about two flawed peopled being brought together by Christ, and becoming one, a strong unit, a team, with the purpose of furthering the Kingdom.  It's sad to see people who don't understand and realize that marriage doesn't make you less of an individual or a weaker person.  It's just the opposite!! A godly marriage unites two people making them able to face the trails and hardships that life brings with the unwavering support of another.  I can tell you with certainty that I would not have been able to face some of the challenges this life has brought without the help, encouragement and love of Curtis.

I'm so thankful that even though marriage has mine fields, I have a partner with whom I can dance through those mine fields with.  

  

8 years

8 years ago, I started this blog.

My, how much has changed since then.

Our family looked something like this 8 years ago...

And now we look something like this...

While doing lawn work earlier this week, I caught myself think back to how different life looks these days.  I don't have a baby in the house.  I'm not tied to the house with nap schedules and nursing schedules.  I can say "get in the van!" and know that they all will and more than likely, they'll all have shoes on.  We don't have potty accidents.  I don't feel like I'm as anxious of a mommy as I used to be.  I get to have interesting and entertaining conversations with my children.

And while a lot of these changes are good, there are some that aren't necessarily bad, but are challenging in their own way.  My kids have opinions that they readily share with me.  I'm responsible for the three older children's education.  The hurts and sadness and fears that big kids face are real, not as imagined as the fears of my toddlers.

I'm so in love with this stage of motherhood!!  I love seeing the people God is growing my toddlers and babies up to be.  I love that even though they're becoming their own little people, they're still my kids.  They still need me, want me around, sign "I love you!" from the outfield, get a little teary when I won't be around.  I really do feel like I might be in one of the best stages of parenting.

And when the days are long because I don't have a napper and my kids don't go to bed till almost 9, I will remind myself of that.  Because I know it's only by God's grace that we've made it this far!

Dear Daughters-in-law...

 Dear Daughters-in-law,

Tonight, three very sweet, very handsome little boys took me on a date.  Someday, a day that will probably come a lot sooner than I'm ready for, one of these handsome, sweet boys will take you on a date.  Tonight on my date, I thought about you.  As I watched the way my boys treated me, I saw glimmers of the young men they are becoming.  Even though my boys will change a lot in the next decade before they get to go on a date with you, I hope there are some things that don't change.

I hope that they open your car door, just like they opened my car door.

I hope that they open every possible door for you, tripping over themselves to be gentlemen.

I hope that they pay for your dinner, just like they "paid for" my dinner. (I'll let you in on a little secret.  They used my debit card, but truly thought they were buying my dinner.)

I hope that they tell you look pretty, like they told me I looked pretty after they asked me to dress up for our date.

I hope they dress up for your dates, just like they picked out "handsome" clothes for our date.

I will confess something to you, daughter-in-law.  I'm very nervous about the relationship that you and I will have.  As you will find out, my mother-in-law passed away after Curtis and I had been married for only 15 months.  So though I know a bit about navigating the waters of a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship, I don't know much.  Our relationship will be a lot of trial and error.  Please know that if I mess up, if I'm over bearing, if I over step in areas, that I'm trying.  Know that I love my son more than you can understand, at least till you have a son of your own.  Know that I've been praying for you since I found out I was going to have a son.

The Lord has blessed me with many woman who've had sons and are successfully navigating great relationships with their daughter-in-laws.  One piece of advice that I've repeatedly received is that I have to become the second most important woman in my sons' life.  I want your marriage to my son to be successful!  And for that to happen, I am fully aware that even though I've been the number one woman in their lives, that will change.  I want it to change.  But it's truly hard for me to imagine at this point.  The deep love that I have for my sons (as well as for Elizabeth!) is a very precious, special, but kinda mysterious thing.  Feel free to gently remind me of the position I meed to take if you see me struggling to hold on to that number one spot.

Also, though I think my boys are pretty awesome, and though I'm doing everything I can do raise them to be godly men, remember that they aren't perfect.  They're sinners and will need your grace and forgiveness.  Grace and forgiveness is an invaluable part of marriage.  If you both keep that in mind, you will be well on your way to a successful marriage.

Love,

Your hopefully not wicked, Mother-in-Law

You Are Special

"The stickers only stick if they matter to you.  The more you trust my love, the less you care about their stickers."

"I'm not sure I understand."

Eli smiled.  "You will, but it will take time.  You've got a lot of marks.  For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."

Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.

"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door, "you are special because I made you.  And I don't make mistakes."

Those words are from a very sweet book, You Are Special, given to us as a baby gift when Timothy was born.  When the book was given, the giver didn't realize that Timothy had a cleft lip.  A couple weeks later, after she met him, she came up and apologized, afraid that she had overstepped a boundary.  I told her I thought it was providential and that we loved the gift!

This month marks the 4th anniversary of Timothy's cleft surgery.  I found myself choked up more than once while reading You Are Special, especially as I read the last sentence.  I know my God is good.  I know my God doesn't make mistakes.  But as a parent of a child with a very obvious deformity, I did find myself questioning God's wisdom in giving Timothy a cleft lip, especially after the road we walked with Benjamin's deformity.  But even as I handed my three month old over for surgery, I knew there was a reason.  And I prayed this verse over my son, hoping that the Lord would be displayed in his life and in our walk.

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." John 9:3

Remembering

12 years ago, Curtis and I said good bye to his mother. I watched my husband of just over a year do something no 23 year old should have to do as he leaned over her body that was riddled with cancer and said, "It's okay to stop fighting." We knew it was coming. She had been fighting for 10 months. We were praying for God's mercy to end the pain. But nothing could have prepared us for that moment.

Today, I reflect on her passing, the past months we had with her, and the memories Curtis and I have of her. I will talk with the kids about their Grammii and share those memories with them. I will tell them how much she wanted to meet them! I will tell Elizabeth about how much her Grammii longed for a granddaughter. I will tell the boys about how much their Grammii would have loved watching them play sports.

And more than anything, we will rejoice that we will see her again! How thankful I am for that hope, a hope that points me towards heaven.

Bluebonnets through the years

 2005

 2006

2007 

2008 

2009

2010 

2011 

2012 

 2013

2014

Today, Motherhood means...

...sending your children to take a FAST shower because we do NOT submerge our heads in the toilet, even if you're wear goggles.

...realizing it's after 2pm and rather than making yourself lunch, you load everyone up to go get yourself (and ONLY yourself) a Sonic drink.

... assuring the Sonic carhop that the screaming children in the back of the van are fine, they're just mad about not getting a drink.

... calling your husband before 9am to ask where the spanking spoon is.

... reminding your children that they were made to work, not just have fun.

... finishing the laundry only to have your children dirty the towels.

... eating Cheetos and muffins for lunch at 3pm with a Rt 44 Diet Coke!

... getting creative withe the consequences, even if that make me "the worse mommy ever".

... not being bothered by the aforementioned statement.

... not crawling up the walls when your 4 year old starts whining.  Again.

... reminding your student that "liters" is not pronounces like "litters" which is hilarious when said student is freaking out because "the book never ever mentions litters!!!!!"

... calling Daddy to spend lunch hour as back up disciplinarian because you've done all you can do and still have the afternoon to contend with.

... counting the hours when you can go to Piyo and enjoy some "me time".

... reminding yourself that this too shall pass and praying that the rest of the week will be easier.

My life in FB updates

"I love all my children equally and don't play favorites. However, three of my four children are making it easy to pick a favorite today."

"Proverbs 16:24 Thankful for friends who spoke words of gracious, sweet, health-ful words to me today."

"Timothy to Curtis Krajca: Surrender or die!!!
Curtis: I surrender!
Timothy: Actually, that's not a choice. Die or die!!!
Curtis: I guess I'll die."

"Exciting evening! My costume for the Girls 5K came!! Elizabeth's should arrive in the next couple of days."

"Can you come sit with me because I'm scared when its just me and God."

"2 pieces of toast, 4 eggs, 8 pieces of bacon, 1 omelette, 2 orders of hashbrowns, 18 pancakes. The Krajcas dominated National Pancake Day!"

"Ben took one of my cents.  Ben stole.  Stealing is a sin.  Ben is a sinner."

Happy birthday, Micah!

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A dog's life

Poor Katy. For some reason, the kids thought it would be a genius idea to dress the dog up and take her picture. Here are a couple of their attempts.

Armadillo Dash Recap

Yesterday, I completed my second half marathon!

 Like any good runner in the days leading up to a race, I was checking the weather religiously.  Every time I looked, it changed.  I saw everything from temperatures in the 50's, 60's and even 70's.  There was a chance or rain, thunderstorms, high humidity, sunny skies.  I finally just gave up till the day before then made a plan as to what I should wear.

After my last half marathon, where my body just quit on me thanks to a lack of hydration, sleep and good nutrition, I was very diligent in these areas in the week leading up to race day.  I had a carb loading plan, I got lots of good sleep in the nights leading up to race day and I drank a ton of water.  I had my game face on!!

 

 (Brad, Erin and I, heading to the starting line!)

Erin and I had our race plan in place... run 5 minutes, walk 1 minute, repeat for 13.1 miles.  In our training, I had hit 10 miles and Erin hit 11 miles, 3 weeks before the race.  We were planning one more long run, then with only 2 1/2 weeks till race day, I severely jammed my toe.  It was so severe that we went to urgent care to see if I could run.  I received the great news that my toe was not fractured and that I could race, but that I needed to give it a week of rest.  So we didn't get another really good long run in before we had to taper.  I was also told that I would probably be dealing with pain when I did start running again.

I had a week and a half left till race day when I hit the roads again.  I got in several good runs, including a 6 miles run.  I was feeling pretty confident in my ability to manage any pain.

At the starting line, the humidity was 97% and the temperature was right at 70 degrees.  It was super yucky!  Even though my training hadn't gone quite as planned due to my toe injury, I was feeling very confident.  My goal had been to run the half in 2:45.  After my injury, I just wanted a sub 3 hour half.  I knew Erin would encourage me to push through and keep me on track.

Our first mile was our fastest.  The humidity and the warm temperatures started getting to me and our pace slowed, but stayed faster than we need.  Just after mile 4, we had to make a pit stop.  The next several miles were toughest for me.  I had to get out of a negative "what was I thinking?!?!" head space.  Erin and I tired to encourage on another, fuel, hydrate and focus.  The course became a little hilly, and I became aware of how much my toe was bothering me.  "Maybe it will go numb soon!" Erin encouraged me.

Right at mile 9, we ran past our friend Linanne's house.  She was outside cheering us on.  I was pretty much done with this race as this point and was contemplating stopping and having Linanne drive me to the finish line.  I knew that if I could just stay out of a negative head space and run through the pain in my toe, I would be okay once I hit 10 miles.  Hitting the double digits and knowing I only had a 5k left would be huge for me!

Right before we hit mile 10, we took another pit stop.  At that point I was receiving texts from Hayley and Curtis, encouraging me that I was almost done and could finish strong!  Erin reminded me that we were still on track to hit our goal, but that we didn't have a lot of wiggle room.  I was so ready to finish strong!  Eye of the tiger!!  Other than the pain from my toe and feeling drained from the heat and humidity, I really felt good overall.  I could tell that my training and race preperation had been effective.  Just as planned, hitting mile 10 was huge, and my head space went much more positive.

By mile 11 I was in a lot of pain.  Throughout the race we had delt with the high humidity and rain.  Though I was in a much better head space than I had been in, I was still very ready to be done. Because of the pain my toe was causing me, I was doing a super awesome power walk and running when I could for the last two miles.

As we rounded the corner, the sky opened up and the rain started coming down steadily.  "Less than a mile!!"  Erin and I encouraged each other. 

 As we neared the finish line, I frantically looked for the official race clock.  2:55!!!!!  Goal accomplished, despite crappy weather, a bum toe and two pit stops!

Couldn't have done it without my awesome friend!!!  It was also very special to get to share her first half marathon finish with her.

Despite the fact that it was pouring rain, my family was there, cheering me on at the finish line.  Right after I got my medal, the front that we'd been waiting for came through.  The rain and wind picked up and we took off for our cars. 

 The day after the half, and I'm still very pleased with how the race went.  I know that I have a faster half in me, and though I don't plan on doing any more halfs in the near future, I don't think the Armadillo Dash was my last half.  But so far, it's been my favorite half!

Timmy-isms

While making Timothy some toast for breakfast, I asked if he wanted jelly.  I received an enthusiastic, "YES!!!  Strawberry jelly!"  I was a bit surprised since he's not usually a fan of strawberry.  I pulled the jar out and asked, "Is this the one you were wanting?"  Timothy took a minute to inspect it before asking, "Are there little seeds in that one?"  "Well, yes...." I replied, slightly confused.  "I want the strawberry jelly with no seeds, the seeds make my mouth feel funny."  "Do you mean you want grape jelly?"  "YES!!!  I want the grape strawberry jelly because it doesn't have seeds."

Last night at Covenant Kids, a program at church which exposes children to the catechism, Timothy informed his teachers, "No one can play hide and seek with God and win.  You will always lose."  (The Question I believe he was thinking of is: Does God know all things?  And the answer: Yes!  Nothing can be hidden from God!)

My First Half Marathon: RACE DAY!

Four months of training.  Hundreds of dollars. 231 miles. Dozens of early bedtimes and early wake-ups. All for this one day.  This one race.  

Those were the thoughts going through my head as I woke up and started getting ready to run my first half marathon.  All the time, energy, money and hard work that I had put into my training were culminating in this one run.  By the time Curtis and I were in the car heading to the starting line, I was in tears.  I was so ready!  I nervous about the cold, about if my training had been enough, about how little sleep I had gotten leading up to the race, about how I fueled, about every tiny detail that was totally out of my control at that point.  I was excited!!  I was excited to finish what I started four month earlier, excited to do something that I never though I would do, excited to see my husband and kids at the finish line cheering for me.  Needless to say, all these varying emotions got the best of me and I just cried.

The morning of the race was very chilly!!  I had anticipated it and was well layered.  Before we started out, I got to snap a few pictures with my friends and training buddies. 

 (one of the ladies in my running group had "space blankets" that she let us use to stay warm before the race.  It was awesome!!)

 (Kris ran his first full marathon!!  I was excited to see him before the race, wish him well, and thought our matching headbands were awesome!)

The view from the starting line was shocking.  I knew that this was a race that would be run by several thousand people, but I was astonished by what several thousand runners actually looked like.

 During the first mile, I ran with Tori and Hayley.  We didn't take any walking breaks, enjoyed the energy from the other runners as well as from the crowd.  I was able to see several other friends during the first mile.  Those moments really added to the excitement.

At mile about 3, I saw the cutest cheering section EVER!  My four kids, one of my best friends (Erin) and her two kids, all screaming and cheering for me.  It was awesome!!  I was also able ditch my gloves and my jacket.  One lesson that I learned is that when you're layering for a long, cold run, ditch the outter layer before one of the under layers gets sweaty.  My long sleeved shirt was sweaty and as soon as the cold air hit, I was cold again.  Also, never ditch your gloves.  Take them off, but keep them.  If the wind picks up, if your pace slows, you might need them again.  

 All through the route, there were people out cheering us on.  Seeing all the supporters and volunteers who were out freezing for those of us running was so encouraging!  It also broke up the race a little and provided a bit of distraction.

At about mile 6, I started experiencing a lot of pain in my upper legs/hips area. I tried stretching.  I tried taking more walking breaks.  I quickly slipped into a negative head space and ran smack into THE WALL.  For non runners, the wall is when you mentally feel like you're an idiot for running this race and that you can't take another step.  I knew exactly what it was, and was discouraged that I was facing the wall before I had even hit the half way there point.

At mile 10 (or was it 11?) I hit another wall.  It was at that moment when I realized that I probably wouldn't be able to finish in under 3 hours.  I was hurting, I was exhausted, my stomach was cramping, I was cold and I was done.  It was at this point that Hayley offered to give me a piggy back ride.  She told me that I could do this, that I HAD to do this, and that she wasn't going to let me walk the rest of this half marathon.  Hayley was awesome!!

One of the funniest moments during the race was when a man, cheering at a corner yelled, "Only .3 of a mile left!!"  I stopped, looked at him and said, "Are you 100% sure?!"  He smiled, assured me that he knew what he was talking about, and off we went, ready to finish this race!

 Finishing a half marathon (regardless of your time) = an amazing feeling.

We crossed the finish line and were immediatly congratulated by the race director, Chris.  Chris knows our family, recognized me, hugged me and said, "I saw Curtis finish.... awhile ago."  I just looked at him, and he quickly added, "I mean, he's awesome, and congrautlations on finishing!  You both rock!"  Couldn't help but laugh.

Then, I was directed to a sweet girl named Ronni, who was passing out finishers medals.  She recognized me from swim team, gave me a huge hug, hung my medal around my neck as I burst into tears.  

                                                     

I walk over to Hayley, crying and saying, "Where's Curtis, I want Curtis, where is he, I need him!"  We finally found him, and the celebration began!

The BCS Marathon throws and amazing post race celebration!  There was food or all kinds, water, chocolate milk, Gatorade, beer, margaritas, space blankets and music.  Rather than quickly heading out, we decided to wait and cheer on our friend Jessica, who was finishing her first full marathon.  As I watched more half marathoners and marathoners finish, I couldn't help but burst into tears, yet again.  I couldn't help but relate to every person running across the finish line.  I knew each of them had a story.  I could see the pride, the excitement, the pain, the disappointment on their faces.  And I when I saw Jessica run across the finish line, reaching her goal time, I really boohooed!!

My official time was 3:05.  Every runner I talked to told me not to set a huge goal time, that my goal should be to finish. In the back of my head, I was shooting for 2:45 and my goal was to run it in under 3 hours.  When I thought back to all the hard work that I had put in I was so discouraged.  I had not run hundreds of miles, lost sleep, spent money and worked so hard to run a 3+ hour half marathon!

But then I was reminded that it's not always about the end result, sometimes, it's about the journey.  Every step you take towards your goal should be celebrated.  It was then that I decided I wanted to run another half marathon.  I wanted to take the practical things I had learned from my first half and apply them to reaching my goal.

Running my first half marathon taught me many things.  But the biggest lesson that I learned is that I'm capable of so much more than I thought.

A couple Questions

I believe this to be totally true!!  

In the past minute, Timothy has asked me.....

"Why don't you buy softer toilet paper?" "Why do you press so hard when you wipe me?" "Did you hear that noise?" "Why do my feet make that noise?" "Did you hear my feet make that tingly noise?" "Is there something wrong with my feet?" "Can you measure me on the scale?" "Have I grown?" "Is that why my legs hurt?"

My first half marathon: Race weekend

I can't just blog about race day.  I really need to back up and recap the entire weekend.

Thanks to my amazing parents, Curtis and I were able to spend several days in Kansas City.  It was the first time we've been able to get away, just the two of us, since we became parents.  It was incredible!  We drove back to Wichita Thursday evening.  Friday morning we headed back home, knowing we were heading straight into bad weather in Oklahoma City all the way till south of Ft Worth.  However, we knew that if we didn't leave on Friday, we wouldn't be able to get home till Monday, meaning the kids would miss their Kids Marathon (a 1.2 mile run for kids put on by the same awesome people hosting the half Curtis and I ran) and we would miss our half marathon.

(Curtis and I, heading to Kansas City! Can you tell we were a little excited?!)

(Early anniversary celebration at Melting Pot)

We drove back to Wichita Thursday evening.  Friday morning we headed back home, knowing we were heading straight into bad weather in Oklahoma City all the way till south of Ft Worth.  However, we knew that if we didn't leave on Friday, we wouldn't be able to get home till Monday, meaning the kids would miss their Kids Marathon (a 1.2 mile run for kids put on by the same awesome people hosting the half Curtis and I ran) and we would miss our half marathon.

The drive was SO long! We were in the car for 18 hours.  The kids were incredibly well behaved and God was very gracious.  We narrowly avoided having to spend the night in our on I-35.  We knew we had dozens of friends and family praying for us and the protection of our Heavenly Father.  We made it home without incident at about 3am.  Curtis and I got about 3 hours of sleep before getting up to get the kids ready to run.

 Though the weather in College Station was dry, it was still VERY chilly.  We bundled up our kiddos, loaded them back into the van, and headed to the starting line!

When both Mommy and Daddy are training for a half marathon, the kids are keenly aware of it.  Long runs cut into family time. Mommy and Daddy (mostly mommy in this case!) might be tired, sore and kinda cranky some days.  The entire family schedule is different so that runs can be worked in.  And though Curtis and I tried to include the kids as much as possible, it was still taxing on the kids at times.  Having a race that all four kids could participate in was such a treat for them!  It was all about them, their accomplishments, them having fun!  What a great idea by the directors of the marathon and a great way to celebrate them when so much focus had been on our training.

I was highly impressed by the kids and how they ran!  All four of them ran the entire race with no walking breaks.  They got out there and ran hard, even though they were all quite cold.

Don't they look cute in their running gear?!  My awesome mom made the experience about the kids by taking them all to Target and letting them pick out new running clothes!  They had so much fun and it really built the excitement of race day. Also, notice their warm, blue gloves?  While stuck in traffic on our drive home, I realized that none of the kids had little inexpensive gloves they could wear.  Hayley to the rescue!  She went out and bought gloves for all the kids and put them in our mailbox so they were ready for us!

After the kids ran, they were each given a medal!

I think this race gave my kids the running bug!  Since then, we've gone on several family runs.  All three big kids have races on the calendar for this spring and are excited for their next running adventure!

After the race, we dashed to the studio for Nutcracker rehersal.  Curtis and I also went to the race expo.  I had lunch with my running group.  Then that evening, we watched Elizabeth perform at Christmas at the Creek.  

The two days leading up to my first half marathon were not even close to what I was anticipating.  It was a long, cold, exhausting couple of days.  But they were also days filled with God's goodness, protection, mercy and fun family memories were made.