Sometimes, maybe it does matter

"It doesn't matter what people think of you!"

"Who cares if they think that about you! You just need to be comfortable with who you are in Christ."

These are thing I regularly say now that I have a tweenage daughter. She has fully entered the phase of life where her peers' opinions of her matter to her, where she feels the need to impress her peers. Curtis and I are seeking to parent Elizabeth in such a way that reminders her to WHOM she belongs, and that HIS opinion of her is the one that matters the most.

A few months ago I was talking with a friend. In our conversation, it came up that someone had mentioned the kind of wife I was and how he "couldn't handle a wife like that" and was "glad my wife isn't like that."

Confession: I'm a TOTAL Pharisee. I am quite good at making sure the outside of my "cup" is clean while often neglecting what's on the inside of my "cup". (see Matt. 23:25-26) I am full of pride. So when I heard that my cup wasn't thought well of, it bugged me. A lot. Probably more than it should have.

As Curtis and I talked about it, he reminded me that ultimately, it didn't matter what people thought of me. He loves me and thinks I'm a great wife. I'm not sinning or even being accused of sin. He spoke all these words of truth to me, even using the words that I use to Elizabeth!

But I couldn't shake the feelings of failure. Was it just my pride being hurt? Was it the Holy Spirit convicting me of some hidden sin in my life?  While I think each of those things is partially true, I was finally able to pinpoint where my hurt feelings were coming from.

Her husband has full confidence in her

    and lacks nothing of value.

12 

She brings him good, not harm,

    all the days of her life.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,

    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

Her children arise and call her blessed;

    her husband also, and he praises her:

29 

“Many women do noble things,

    but you surpass them all.”

(Proverbs 31:11, 12, 23, 28 and 29)

My concern in the matter of what a couple people thought about the kind of wife I am is that I was reflecting poorly on Curtis.

So maybe it really does matter.

Before going into a store, doctor's office, Curtis's office, or out to eat during the middle of the school day, I give my kids the same lecture. I reminder them that they are representing themselves, our family, homeschooler, Christians and ultimately Christ. Are we shining the light of Jesus when we are unkind to one another?! Elizabeth, who is often too smart for her own good, will occasionally remind me of my own words, that it doesn't matter what other people think.

"Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God." 2 Cor 5:20

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9

"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Eph 4:1-3

I could go on and on listing bible verses about living a godly life and walking in a manner worthy of the calling upon us as we represent Christ to a fallen world.

So where does that leave me? 

All this reminded me that I do represent Christ in my daily life. And part of that is being the kind of wife who brings her husband good all his days.  And though I don't like it, when it comes to some people not liking my personality, it really doesn't matter what they think of me. My calling is not to have everyone like me, be impressed by me or even think highly of me. My calling is to represent Christ in the way I live, to shine His light in a dark world. My calling is to be the kind of wife who brings her husband good and who encourages him in the leadership roles God has put him in.

That's when it matters.

What I learned being a sports mom for 18 months straight

 It all started like a normal spring. But what started as a normal quickly grew into a whirlwind of sports craziness.

In March of 2015, all three boys played baseball. Timothy played tee ball and the big boys played kid pitch. Curtis was the assistant coach for both teams. Overall, it was a great season! But with three players on two different teams, it was for sure crazy!

During baseball season, in mid April, all four kids started summer league swimming. We were blessed in that there was a homeschool practice, allowing us to have less conflicts with our busy baseball schedule.

In June, during the height of busyness with swimming, Elizabeth started playing volleyball for a homeschool team.

The three big kids had an amazing swim season and went on to swim in the State Games of Texas, which was held in early August.

By the time swim season wrapped up, volleyball season was full steam ahead. Through the organization that did volleyball, we found out about basketball. Micah and Benjamin started going to skills clinics, decided to join the team, and began twice a week practices in October.

In September, Timothy began playing flag football.

Volleyball season came to an end and Elizabeth decided to also play basketball. Two weeks after her last volleyball game, she played in her first basketball game.

Never before had we played a winter sport like basketball. But we were loving the organization, the teams, the families and the coaches. The homeschool state tournament was at the end of February, and baseball started again the next week.

Then, we basically had a repeat, where swimming started during baseball season, and swimming went so well that we swim even after the regular season.

By July I was in full on meltdown mode. While the three big kids were at camp, I cancelled a trip to see my family in Oklahoma and took a much needed mental break.

Since mid July, we haven't done any sports, aside from the occasional basketball skills clinic. As I'm gearing up for Micah and Benjamin starting basketball and Elizabeth joining a club swim team, here's what I've learned.

• Just because there are 24 hours in a day doesn't mean I need to fill every waking hour.
• Saying no to something good is hard.
• Sometimes when you say no to a good thing it opens up the opportunity for a GREAT thing.
• Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD.
• It's okay if Timothy doesn't play a sport this fall. He's okay with it, why am I struggling?!
• When you are doing sports non stop, something else in life suffers. It might be homeschooling. It might be the house. It might be your marriage. All the above were effected by the amount of sports we participated in.
• I need to take time for me. Time to exercise, to eat well, to rest. 
• It's easy to gain weight when your main focus is getting the kids from one event to another, homeschooling and church.
• Kids will watch and see where your priorities are. Make sure your priorities are the good things.
• I do my best when I'm busy. But I also need an occasional recharge. 
• Homeschooling CAN be done in the car! But it does take a lot of planning.
• Audibles, through Amazon, is a life saver, as are books on CD from the library.

I'm very, very thankful for the opportunities that my kids have had over the past 18 months. They have learned more than just sports. I am thankful for the coaches that poured into their lives, motivating and encouraging them. I truly believe my kids have stronger character because of sports. Our family will continue to participate in various sporting activities. I'm very excited to see them continue to grow as athletes and individuals. And I'm hopeful that I can take the lessons the I've learned and become an better sports mom.

A new year

 At the beginning of each school year, I chose a verse to encourage us as we prepare for a new year.

The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

for gaining wisdom and instruction;

for understanding words of insight;

for receiving instruction in prudent behavior,

doing what is right and just and fair;

for giving prudence to those who are simple,

knowledge and discretion to the young—

let the wise listen and add to their learning,

and let the discerning get guidance—

for understanding proverbs and parables,

the sayings and riddles of the wise.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, 

but fools despise wisdom and instruction. 

Prov. 1:1-7

May the Lord bless our efforts as we seek understanding, insight and knowledge. For we know that the beginning of knowledge is the fear of the Lord, and only a fool despises instruction and wisdom.

A new year

 At the beginning of each school year, I chose a verse to encourage us as we prepare for a new year.

The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

for gaining wisdom and instruction;

for understanding words of insight;

for receiving instruction in prudent behavior,

doing what is right and just and fair;

for giving prudence to those who are simple,

knowledge and discretion to the young—

let the wise listen and add to their learning,

and let the discerning get guidance—

for understanding proverbs and parables,

the sayings and riddles of the wise.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, 

but fools despise wisdom and instruction. 

Prov. 1:1-7

May the Lord bless our efforts as we seek understanding, insight and knowledge. For we know that the beginning of knowledge is the fear of the Lord, and only a fool despises instruction and wisdom.

Month of LOVE Day 15

I love when my kids are sweet to each other. 

I love when they have fun together. 

I love when they help each other. 

I love when the laugh together.

I love when they make memories together.

Month of LOVE Day 2

I love Timothy!

To be totally real for a moment, let me explain that this little guy was the one who sent me into my frantic praying yesterday. This little guy is why 1 Corinthians 13 came to mind during my time of prayer. And this little guy is making me CRAZY. I don't understand the way his brain works. I don't understand his words (or lack of words!). I don't understand his actions. I don't understand what motivates him. I don't understand his heart or how to discipline and get to his heart. 

At first Curtis and I decided it was just a phase. We have now decided that this is not a phase but rather a steamy hot mess. 

I'm struggling with how to show Timothy Christ, the gospel and grace. And then 1 Corinthians came to mind. Love is patient, kind and not easily irritated. 

Of course I love Timothy! But now the challenge is to show him my love even when he's being unlovable.

So happy birthday, Timothy! I hope this year that I will be able to show you how much a love you, even when you're making me crazy.

Summer Lovin' : Swim Team

This summer, the one thing that consumed more hours than anything else was swim team.  Elizabeth, Micah and Benjamin swam on the Bryan Barracuda swim team for the second summer.  We loved every minute of it!

Elizabeth aged up into the 9 and 10 division.  We knew this would be a big jump for her.  Last summer, she had been at the top of her division, bringing home ribbons and medals after every meet.  This year, though her times improved quite impressively from last year, she wasn't bringing home the ribbons and the medals.  She wasn't put on the "A" relay.  It was hard for her!  She is, by nature, very competitive.  This summer, she was able to learn the value of competing with herself and for the team, not necessarily for the awards.  We watcher her set her eyes on a goal and work her hind end off till she achieved her goal.  She also learned that she and Micah can push each other to be each others biggest competition.  But then they also have to be each others biggest supporters.  We were do proud of her when she qualified to swim at Invitationals, in every stroke.  She had to work hard to make it, but she did it!  She also learned how to swim the 100 IM, and swam it beautifully at Regionals.  

 Last year wasn't Micah's year in the pool.  He brought home a handful of ribbons through the year, never won a medal, didn't qualify for Invitationals, and was never but on "A" relay.  He, like his sister, is by nature competitive, but we really didn't see his intense competitive nature till this spring in baseball.  Suddenly, something clicked for Micah and he turned into quite the swimmer!  We were all shocked when in the first meet of the season, he won 1st place in the breast stroke.  The little boy who rarely placed last year was placing in everything he swam!  It was exciting and encouraging, but also a challenging life lesson.  This summer, Micah learned how to be a gracious winner, how to encourage those who aren't as successful and how to not be an annoying competitor, but rather a motivating one.  At Invitationals, he DQed in his best race.  It was a huge disappointment, since he would have placed.  But again, he learned a valuable lesson, how to press on from that kind of discouraging swim, and not let it effect his attitude.  I'm pretty sure all these life lessons aren't fully in effect and we'll have to continue encouraging him.  But I look forward to seeing how he continues to mature as a young man.

 

Benjamin also aged up this year, swimming with 7 and 8 year olds.  He has a terrible swim birthday, and was the youngest 7/8 year old on the team.  Luckily for Benjamin, he has enough confidence to make up for his bad swim birthday.  He hit the pool this summer with determination and with a competitive drive.  We were pleasantly surprised when he qualified to swim every stroke at Invitationals.  Though he didn't always have a sweet, trainable attitude, he did exactly what his coaches asked of him.  And when he saw improvements in his time, he learned that pushing yourself hard is worth it.  At the end of the regular season, Benjamin was given the  Most Dedicated Barracuda award.  Benjamin finished the swim season knowing that not only is he a good swimmer, but that he can become and awesome swimmer when he listens to those around him.  By the end of the season, Benjamin, the youngest in his age division, was swimming on the "A" relay. 

After the regular season was over, we swam at Invitationals.  Each of the kids placed in at least one race (Benjamin placed in two of his races!).  With how well they were continuing to swim, we decided to not end our season, and started training for TAAF (TX Amateur Athletic Federation).  Because of their ages, and the large number of swimmers, they had to swim in a Regional Meet and the top three swimmers from each race would advance to state.  Micah and Benjamin each swam in three races and qualified for state in all three races!!  Elizabeth was amazing at Regionals.  I've never seen her swim so well!  Unfortunatly, though she swam to Personal Bests, she didn't place in the top three.  Despite that, we couldn't be more proud of any of our swimmers!!  They all worked very hard and had a great season!

Micah and Benjamin swam very well at state!  Neither of them placed, but both swam well and we were thrilled that they made it as far as they did.

I am definitely becoming a sports mom, who sees a high value and life lessons in having your children compete in sports.  I love that they win and can learn how to do that in a gracious way.  I love when they lose and learn how to move past that.  I love when the have good practices and see how strong God's made them.  I love when the have bad practices and need me to encourage them.  I love seeing their eyes light up when they achieve a personal goal.  I love when they still need me to hug them after a bad swim.  I genuinely look forward to seeing how God uses sports in my children's lives.  

We can't wait till next year when all four of the kiddos will be swimming for the Barracudas!

Getting ready for school

Our summer flew by!!  I hope to catch up on all the summer fun we've had in another post.  But as the summer comes to an end, I've begun preparing for the start of a new school year.  This week, Micah and Benjamin are in Kansas at Grand Camp.  I took the opportunity with only having half the children I'm used to and put some of my planning into play.  Here are the results!

 Above is a picture of our dinning room.  Though we have a school room, which we all enjoy, there are times when you just need to sit at a table to get your work done.  I've also found that being able to have all the kids, sitting in one place as we start our day, is very helpful! 

One of the main things I've learned is that you have to have a central location for your daily school needs.  We solved that problem with the cabinet in the corner, by the dry erase board.  The kids have all their books there and that's where they can find the daily school supplies that they need.  In the opposite corner is Timothy's little set up.  He has his own table, a poster and I'll add a few things to it before the start of school.

A random, yet very motivating thing I discovered last year was the 100 days of school poster.  My kids, especially the boys, were SO motivated to do school each day so that they could cross off a day on the chart.  I'm hoping it will work as well this year and help us as we fight off the back to school blues.

We've loved having a school room in our home!  Having a place for all the books, toys, and an extra couch has been nice.  Each year we homeschool, I add more books to our stash.  This week, I was able to spend some time organizing all the shelves, rearranging a little, and preparing my area.

 My little corner.  I took some time to wrap jars with papers, added a picture of my students, all in hope of making my area a little more fun.

 A lot of school happens on the couch and on the floor in front of the bulletin board!  This is the room we use for group work (bible, history and read alouds). We brought Timothy's toys shelf and book case out of his room, since he hates being alone.  Hopefully, this will allow him something fun to do when he's done with his school but I'm still working with his siblings. 

Another shelf with organized supplies and books!  I cleared off the top of this shelf, which had been a craft catch all. 

As we start our 6th year of homeschooling, I am excited about the opportunity to learn with and love on my kiddos.  Having a fun, organized environment really helps my motivation to start the year off strong!

Dear Daughters-in-law...

 Dear Daughters-in-law,

Tonight, three very sweet, very handsome little boys took me on a date.  Someday, a day that will probably come a lot sooner than I'm ready for, one of these handsome, sweet boys will take you on a date.  Tonight on my date, I thought about you.  As I watched the way my boys treated me, I saw glimmers of the young men they are becoming.  Even though my boys will change a lot in the next decade before they get to go on a date with you, I hope there are some things that don't change.

I hope that they open your car door, just like they opened my car door.

I hope that they open every possible door for you, tripping over themselves to be gentlemen.

I hope that they pay for your dinner, just like they "paid for" my dinner. (I'll let you in on a little secret.  They used my debit card, but truly thought they were buying my dinner.)

I hope that they tell you look pretty, like they told me I looked pretty after they asked me to dress up for our date.

I hope they dress up for your dates, just like they picked out "handsome" clothes for our date.

I will confess something to you, daughter-in-law.  I'm very nervous about the relationship that you and I will have.  As you will find out, my mother-in-law passed away after Curtis and I had been married for only 15 months.  So though I know a bit about navigating the waters of a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship, I don't know much.  Our relationship will be a lot of trial and error.  Please know that if I mess up, if I'm over bearing, if I over step in areas, that I'm trying.  Know that I love my son more than you can understand, at least till you have a son of your own.  Know that I've been praying for you since I found out I was going to have a son.

The Lord has blessed me with many woman who've had sons and are successfully navigating great relationships with their daughter-in-laws.  One piece of advice that I've repeatedly received is that I have to become the second most important woman in my sons' life.  I want your marriage to my son to be successful!  And for that to happen, I am fully aware that even though I've been the number one woman in their lives, that will change.  I want it to change.  But it's truly hard for me to imagine at this point.  The deep love that I have for my sons (as well as for Elizabeth!) is a very precious, special, but kinda mysterious thing.  Feel free to gently remind me of the position I meed to take if you see me struggling to hold on to that number one spot.

Also, though I think my boys are pretty awesome, and though I'm doing everything I can do raise them to be godly men, remember that they aren't perfect.  They're sinners and will need your grace and forgiveness.  Grace and forgiveness is an invaluable part of marriage.  If you both keep that in mind, you will be well on your way to a successful marriage.

Love,

Your hopefully not wicked, Mother-in-Law

Today, Motherhood means...

...sending your children to take a FAST shower because we do NOT submerge our heads in the toilet, even if you're wear goggles.

...realizing it's after 2pm and rather than making yourself lunch, you load everyone up to go get yourself (and ONLY yourself) a Sonic drink.

... assuring the Sonic carhop that the screaming children in the back of the van are fine, they're just mad about not getting a drink.

... calling your husband before 9am to ask where the spanking spoon is.

... reminding your children that they were made to work, not just have fun.

... finishing the laundry only to have your children dirty the towels.

... eating Cheetos and muffins for lunch at 3pm with a Rt 44 Diet Coke!

... getting creative withe the consequences, even if that make me "the worse mommy ever".

... not being bothered by the aforementioned statement.

... not crawling up the walls when your 4 year old starts whining.  Again.

... reminding your student that "liters" is not pronounces like "litters" which is hilarious when said student is freaking out because "the book never ever mentions litters!!!!!"

... calling Daddy to spend lunch hour as back up disciplinarian because you've done all you can do and still have the afternoon to contend with.

... counting the hours when you can go to Piyo and enjoy some "me time".

... reminding yourself that this too shall pass and praying that the rest of the week will be easier.

My life in FB updates

"I love all my children equally and don't play favorites. However, three of my four children are making it easy to pick a favorite today."

"Proverbs 16:24 Thankful for friends who spoke words of gracious, sweet, health-ful words to me today."

"Timothy to Curtis Krajca: Surrender or die!!!
Curtis: I surrender!
Timothy: Actually, that's not a choice. Die or die!!!
Curtis: I guess I'll die."

"Exciting evening! My costume for the Girls 5K came!! Elizabeth's should arrive in the next couple of days."

"Can you come sit with me because I'm scared when its just me and God."

"2 pieces of toast, 4 eggs, 8 pieces of bacon, 1 omelette, 2 orders of hashbrowns, 18 pancakes. The Krajcas dominated National Pancake Day!"

"Ben took one of my cents.  Ben stole.  Stealing is a sin.  Ben is a sinner."

Happy birthday, Timothy!

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Words of Encouragement

As we've started our 6th year of homeschooling, I've been surprised at what a struggle it's been.  We are into our fourth week of school, and I am still facing whining, complaining, resistance and in general, bad attitudes.  It's very hard for me to not become discouraged when facing the task of educating four little people who seem to think they should fight me every step of the way.

Rather than throw my hands up and wave the white flag, I've been surrounding myself with scripture.  And since I know the struggles and battles that I face aren't unique to me or to homeschooling but are common to all godly moms, here are the words of encouragement that have helped me.

"By wisdom a house is built,
and through understating it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasure."
Proverbs 24:3-4

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue"
Proverbs 31:26

"Start your children off in the way the should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it"
Proverbs 22:6

"Discipline your children and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire."
Proverbs 29:17

"Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction.  For the time will come when men will not put up with sounds doctrine.  Instead, to suit their own desires, they will father around them a great number of teacher to say what their itching ears want to hear.  They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.  But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. "
2 Timothy 4:2-3

"My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."
Colossians 2:2-3

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Galatians 6:9

2012: Party Time

I love parties!  I especially love planning and throwing parties for four of my favorite people, my kiddos.  2012 was a good year for parties!

In February, Timothy turned 2.  His party was a Bobo (sock monkey) party, celebrating his love for his favorite stuffed animal.  I enjoy thinking outside of the box, challenging myself with new themes, and a Bobo party was a perfect challenge.  I chose bright colors, accented with a few sock monkeys, and picked monkey themed food (monkey bread, banana muffin, and donut holes that I wanted to call monkey balls, but Curtis wouldn't let me).  The kiddos made their own sock puppets, blew bubbles, and just had fun with each other.

In March, Micah turned six, and requested a science party.  My mom and I had so much fun getting ideas for favors, experiments and decorations.  Hooray for Pintrest!!  Micah really got into the role of scientist, making an adorable "scientist face" for pictures.  Micah and I built a volcano, which we blew up at the party.  We had lab coats and goggles for all the party goers, and had a blast making slime, oobleck and lava bottles.  For the finale of the party, we made Diet Coke geysers!  Our little Aggie Scientist had a great day!

In May, Agent 005, Benjamin, turned 5.  For this Secret Spy party, I got to stretch my party planning abilities to come up with activities for all the spies attending his party.  We started out the party by fingerprinting all the agents, then having them go to the disguise station.  Once all spies were accounted for, we began spy training, which consisted of working through a laser field, marshmallow shooting, and bomb containment.  After snacks, the spies received their mission, and put all their training to work.  The party ended when the spies found the stash of cash ($100 bill pinata).  My parents were especially helpful in creating the mission for the little spies.

And finally, in June, I got to put all my girly party planning to use when Elizabeth turned 8.  She requested an Alice in Wonderland tea party.  My favorite part of her party was her!!  Some friends had a precious Alice costume, which they let us borrow.  Using Alice's dress for inspiration, the main colors for the party were a bright blue with red accents.  The theme was fun, sweet and whimsical!  The lovely ladies decorated top hats for the tea party, enjoyed sweet and fruit with their tea, then headed outside for a game of croquette.

Party planning is a hobby for me.  I enjoy taking something my kids love, and giving them a memorable day.  My desire is that they can see in a tangible way how much I love them! 

Month of Thankfulness... Day 24

I'm thankful for Timothy, my full of life and personality, two year old.  He keeps me on my toes, but I'm daily touched by his sweet heart.  He is the most "momma's boy" out of my boys, and I'm cherishing it.  I love sitting and talking with him.  This time last year he was only saying a handful of words.  Now, he's sharing the most interesting and hilarious thoughts with me. 

Though is saddens me a bit that my baby is growing up so quickly, I'm thrilled with the little person he is, and who God is making him to be.

Month of Thankfulness... Day 16

I'm thankful for a child's amusing perspective on my life.

Today, Elizabeth and I were working in the kitchen together.  She was enjoying wiping down the stove, and said, "I hope when I grow up I can be a maid or a nanny!"  "Or maybe, " I told her, "you could just be a mommy."

She snickered.

And then informed me, "Yeah, but you don't get paid for that and it's harder!"

No joke!

Month of Thankfulness... Day 4

This semester, Curtis and I have been doing some hard work alongside of our children, in a battle for their hearts and attitudes.  As any parent can relate, this has not been an easy or fun battle.  Some days I see huge progress, and other times I'm left in tears and in prayer, knowing I can't do any more in my own strength.

And in the midst of the battle, I'm thankful for laughter and teachable moments.

One such moment arrived on a Monday morning.  Elizabeth was struggling to be obedient to me as we started homeschooling.  Since she and Micah have made professions of faith this year, I've been trying to remind them of the power of the Holy Spirit as they fight against sin.  I had a long conversation with Elizabeth about how she was struggling against the old, sinful man, and the new man, seeking to glorify God.  I also talked with Micah and Benjamin about the stuggle Elizabeth was having, encouraging them to show grace to their sister in her time of need.

We made it through the morning, and Curtis came home for lunch to serve as back up.  Benjamin sat next to him and said, "Daddy, Eizabeth is having a hard day.  See, she has a war inside of her.  A war between the Holy Spirit and an old man."

While Benjamin clearly didn't fully understand the point I was making, I was thankful for that teachable moment.  And a time to laugh!

32

Yesterday, I turned 32.  We are in the midst of a really busy week, but yesterday was a calm day.  While doing some laundry and washing some dishes, I found myself reflecting on being in my 30's, what God has been doing in my life, and contemplating the past year.  We're had quite a year!!  But through those things, God has been at work, teaching me and growing me.  I can absolutly say that I'm being refined by fire!

Here are 32 things that I've learned this year.

1. God doesn't promise things will be easy.
2. Hard times don't always have a concrete ending point.
3. Watching what you eat isn't fun.
4. Watching what you eat coupled with exercise will produce results.
5. I've put limits on myself that I've enjoyed challenging.
6. Challenging my limits is fun!
7. The hope of Heaven has become more and more real.
8. Being a mom doesn't get easier the longer you do it.
9. Justice doesn't satisfy the way I thought it would.
10. Friends who know when to advice and when to just be are blessings.
11. The internet can be dangerous.
12. Grief is a process.  Sometimes, I long process.
13. I need to cherish little moments more.
14. Not having a baby is kinda nice.
15. Just because I didn't get the results I expected doesn't mean I wasn't doing what God called me to do.
16. Skype, e-mail, and Facebook make the miles seem less.
17. You can always call on family.
18. Children pick up more than I would have thought.
19. There are right and wrong ways of handling conflict with another believer.
20. Handling conflict the same way twice doesn't always work.
21. Eating at home can save a lot of money.
22. A good marriage is worth the fight.
23. I need to read more books to my children.
24. Exercise is better at relieving my stress than eating my stress.
25. Worship is refreshing.
26. Cancer sucks.
27. Being organized is a blessing and a curse.
28. When dealing with struggles, you can still pray for others facing struggles.
29. God doesn't promise to not give me more than I can handle.
30. He does promise that He can handle everything He gives me.
31. I don't want to live in fear.
32. I want to live by grace.

One week ago....

One week ago, things in my life got a little crazy.

Actually, A LOT crazy.

CPS showed up at my door, informing me that allegations had been made against Curtis and me. I was shocked, scared, and very uncertain. We scheduled a time for the interview.

I spent most of Thursday crying, making phone calls, crying, trying to be normal for the kids, crying, stress eating, crying and cleaning.

Friday morning, 8:30, our house was spotless, the children we all clean and looked adorable, Curtis and I looked like non neglectful parents who didn't partake in excessive drinking. The doorbell rang, and when I answered, only one case worker was there. He informed us that we would need to rescheduled our interview for Monday.

Awesome.

The entire weekend, the coming interview weighed on my heart and mind. Though I knew we had nothing to worry about, there was no doubt in my mind that our family was under attack. And not just a physical attack. But a spiritual attack.

Monday came, and I was ready for battle. Curtis and I had spent so much time in prayer, both together and personally, wrapping our hearts, minds, children and home in prayer. We had prayer warriors standing with us, also bathing our family in prayer.

The interview went smoothly. We were told when CPS left that all charges were found without backing, and that all allegations would be dropped.

Praise God!!

However, something else came up, due to the interview. I can't go into details at this point, but I covet your prayers as Curtis and I are in the midst of another battle. I can tell you that our family is not in immediate danger, however the whole thing is taking a huge mental and emotional toll on Curtis and me.

Through all this, God has been teaching me so much. Hopefully, as things wind down (hahah!!! like that ever happens around here), I'll be able to share more of my heart.

And for those of you who were curious, the CPS thing is what prompted me to go private with this blog. Never would I have imagined that my family journal and testimony to God's goodness would be the means of attacking our family. But it was.

Reasons to be a proud momma

This weekend was pure mayhem! But in the midst of it, I found so many reasons to be proud.

Friday night, Elizabeth went to her first slumber party. Though she's been to a friend's house to spend the night, this was her first time at this friends house, her first slumber party, and she was nervous. I was so proud when she went, despite her nervousness, and didn't call. She's growing up so quickly!

Saturday morning, Elizabeth and Micah had a dress rehearsal for their choir performance. It was a long morning for them, made more challenging by the fact that Daddy was working all day Saturday and a late night for Elizabeth. However, they did everything without complaining or arguing.

While the two big kids were at church, Benjamin helped me with Timothy while we ran to Wal Mart. I was proud of him for not throwing a fit when we left (he wanted to stay and practice too!) and then he was a huge help to me as we navigated Wal Mart on a Saturday two weeks before Christmas.

Saturday afternoon while Elizabeth and Timothy took awesome naps, Micah and Benjamin played nicely together while I got everything ready for our evening. There are times when they are wild, crazy boys, and I was proud of them for knowing when a good time to play quietly was.

Saturday evening, Elizabeth danced at Christmas in the Creek. While lining up with her class, she saw one of the other girls crying. She went over to the little girl, gave her a long hug, and then talked to he about why she was scared. Even though Elizabeth was dealing with her own nerves, she used self control (YAY!) and was able to encourage her friend. She then went on and did an amazing job dancing!

(Elizabeth is on the front row, all the way on the right)

Sunday was the day that all the busyness caught up with us. Micah was feeling sick, and wanted to just stay at home. All of us were worn out, physically tired, and a bit emotional. But despite all that, Elizabeth and Micah did an amazing job at the kid's choir performance. Elizabeth sang an beautiful solo! Micah did so well for his first year. And Benjamin wore a wise man costume and sang a song with the big kids.

I am so proud of my kids! They make my bad days better (most of the time! ;-)) and my good days great! I'm so thankful for them, and for the wonderful people they're growing into.