I will be here

For Valentine's Day, Steven Curtis Chapman released a new music video for the song "I Will be Here".

Curtis and I really love this song, and it was almost in our wedding 16 years ago. As I listened to the song, I found myself chuckling as I thought about that 19 year old girl and 21 year old boy who heard that song while planning their wedding and were totally confident in making bold promises to one another. We were so in love, so smitten, so confident in our love.

16 years later, I'm still just as in love, just as smitten and even more confident in our love.

This past semester, along with two other couples, Curtis and I read The Meaning of Marriage by Keller. During one chapter, Keller discusses how marriage is the only horizontal covenant (covenant between two people) AND vertical covenant (covenant between people and God). He discussed how the importance of marriage is the promise, the covenant, that carries a marriage through the times when the warm, romantic, fuzzies might not be there. That 19 year old girl and 21 year old boy could make those bold promises, having no real idea what they were getting themselves into, because of how the Father had drawn them together in love. But now, they can still make bold promises with a deeper knowledge of what that looks like in real life.

Though I would quickly and easily say that Curtis is my best friend and that I love being his wife, we have seen some tough times in our marriage. The death of a parent. Finishing college. Working two jobs. Surprise pregnancies. A master's degree. The loss of a job. Major health issues for our children. Financial stress. There have been times when we're just had to go to bed saying, "We've got to just go to sleep and live to fight another day." I've recently been able to look back at some of those challenging times with thankfulness, seeing how God has grown each of us individually and together as a couple. Our current motto is "Team work makes the dream work." I'm so thankful that I get to do life with Curtis by my side.

Marriage is hard. Marriage is beautiful. How thankful I am to be in a marriage with a man who loves the Lord, who loves me and is faithful to me, who passionately loves our family, and who I know will be here for me.

Month of LOVE Day 14

 I love making a big deal out of little, ordinary days. I love how my kids expect it, but also really enjoy it and are thankful for these over the top celebrations.

Before I left for GA, the boys told me that they were going to miss celebrating Valentine's Day together as a family. After our plane landed in Houston, we headed to dinner with our friend Morgan. On our way home, we stopped at Wal Mart so that I could stock up on a few supplies.

And Monday morning, just a day late, we celebrated Valentine's Day together.

Month of LOVE Day 3

I love waking up to the smell of coffee.

And on mornings when I wake up and haven't slept well, or wake up feeling overwhelmed by the day before me, I especially love waking up to the smell of coffee that I didn't have to make!

Today was extra special because Curtis had cold coffee to take to work and didn't need to make a fresh pot. But he did. Because he loves me. And he knew I had a busy day and hadn't slept well. I so appreciate and love those daily acts of service and love!

My First Half Marathon: RACE DAY!

Four months of training.  Hundreds of dollars. 231 miles. Dozens of early bedtimes and early wake-ups. All for this one day.  This one race.  

Those were the thoughts going through my head as I woke up and started getting ready to run my first half marathon.  All the time, energy, money and hard work that I had put into my training were culminating in this one run.  By the time Curtis and I were in the car heading to the starting line, I was in tears.  I was so ready!  I nervous about the cold, about if my training had been enough, about how little sleep I had gotten leading up to the race, about how I fueled, about every tiny detail that was totally out of my control at that point.  I was excited!!  I was excited to finish what I started four month earlier, excited to do something that I never though I would do, excited to see my husband and kids at the finish line cheering for me.  Needless to say, all these varying emotions got the best of me and I just cried.

The morning of the race was very chilly!!  I had anticipated it and was well layered.  Before we started out, I got to snap a few pictures with my friends and training buddies. 

 (one of the ladies in my running group had "space blankets" that she let us use to stay warm before the race.  It was awesome!!)

 (Kris ran his first full marathon!!  I was excited to see him before the race, wish him well, and thought our matching headbands were awesome!)

The view from the starting line was shocking.  I knew that this was a race that would be run by several thousand people, but I was astonished by what several thousand runners actually looked like.

 During the first mile, I ran with Tori and Hayley.  We didn't take any walking breaks, enjoyed the energy from the other runners as well as from the crowd.  I was able to see several other friends during the first mile.  Those moments really added to the excitement.

At mile about 3, I saw the cutest cheering section EVER!  My four kids, one of my best friends (Erin) and her two kids, all screaming and cheering for me.  It was awesome!!  I was also able ditch my gloves and my jacket.  One lesson that I learned is that when you're layering for a long, cold run, ditch the outter layer before one of the under layers gets sweaty.  My long sleeved shirt was sweaty and as soon as the cold air hit, I was cold again.  Also, never ditch your gloves.  Take them off, but keep them.  If the wind picks up, if your pace slows, you might need them again.  

 All through the route, there were people out cheering us on.  Seeing all the supporters and volunteers who were out freezing for those of us running was so encouraging!  It also broke up the race a little and provided a bit of distraction.

At about mile 6, I started experiencing a lot of pain in my upper legs/hips area. I tried stretching.  I tried taking more walking breaks.  I quickly slipped into a negative head space and ran smack into THE WALL.  For non runners, the wall is when you mentally feel like you're an idiot for running this race and that you can't take another step.  I knew exactly what it was, and was discouraged that I was facing the wall before I had even hit the half way there point.

At mile 10 (or was it 11?) I hit another wall.  It was at that moment when I realized that I probably wouldn't be able to finish in under 3 hours.  I was hurting, I was exhausted, my stomach was cramping, I was cold and I was done.  It was at this point that Hayley offered to give me a piggy back ride.  She told me that I could do this, that I HAD to do this, and that she wasn't going to let me walk the rest of this half marathon.  Hayley was awesome!!

One of the funniest moments during the race was when a man, cheering at a corner yelled, "Only .3 of a mile left!!"  I stopped, looked at him and said, "Are you 100% sure?!"  He smiled, assured me that he knew what he was talking about, and off we went, ready to finish this race!

 Finishing a half marathon (regardless of your time) = an amazing feeling.

We crossed the finish line and were immediatly congratulated by the race director, Chris.  Chris knows our family, recognized me, hugged me and said, "I saw Curtis finish.... awhile ago."  I just looked at him, and he quickly added, "I mean, he's awesome, and congrautlations on finishing!  You both rock!"  Couldn't help but laugh.

Then, I was directed to a sweet girl named Ronni, who was passing out finishers medals.  She recognized me from swim team, gave me a huge hug, hung my medal around my neck as I burst into tears.  

                                                     

I walk over to Hayley, crying and saying, "Where's Curtis, I want Curtis, where is he, I need him!"  We finally found him, and the celebration began!

The BCS Marathon throws and amazing post race celebration!  There was food or all kinds, water, chocolate milk, Gatorade, beer, margaritas, space blankets and music.  Rather than quickly heading out, we decided to wait and cheer on our friend Jessica, who was finishing her first full marathon.  As I watched more half marathoners and marathoners finish, I couldn't help but burst into tears, yet again.  I couldn't help but relate to every person running across the finish line.  I knew each of them had a story.  I could see the pride, the excitement, the pain, the disappointment on their faces.  And I when I saw Jessica run across the finish line, reaching her goal time, I really boohooed!!

My official time was 3:05.  Every runner I talked to told me not to set a huge goal time, that my goal should be to finish. In the back of my head, I was shooting for 2:45 and my goal was to run it in under 3 hours.  When I thought back to all the hard work that I had put in I was so discouraged.  I had not run hundreds of miles, lost sleep, spent money and worked so hard to run a 3+ hour half marathon!

But then I was reminded that it's not always about the end result, sometimes, it's about the journey.  Every step you take towards your goal should be celebrated.  It was then that I decided I wanted to run another half marathon.  I wanted to take the practical things I had learned from my first half and apply them to reaching my goal.

Running my first half marathon taught me many things.  But the biggest lesson that I learned is that I'm capable of so much more than I thought.

My first half marathon: training

In the four months I didn't blog, I trained for and ran my first half marathon.  Though it's old news now, and I'm actually training for my second half marathon, I still wanted to recap my experience.

The only reason I decided to run a half marathon was because I won free training with a running coach and a running group called Runaway Moms.  Coach Wendy sent out the training plan, made the routes, set out water on the long runs, taught me how to stretch, pushed me when I wouldn't push myself and reminded me that I was capable of doing this.  I can't express how much this group of women encouraged me through the whole process, cheering me on at every little victory.

The longest I had run before I started training for the half was 3.5 miles.  Slowly building up my mileage was exciting!  Seeing that I could keep going and that I could push myself to get the higher miles was so rewarding.  The weekend that I was going to tackle 7 miles was a big one for me.  I had run 6 miles twice before and completed a 10k (6.2 miles) and I was ready to make another jump in mileage.  The morning came and I was genuinely excited to hit that mileage milestone but it was pouring rain complete with thunder and lightning!  No running for me.  My motivation was gone and I wasn't sure how I would mentally make it through those 7 miles.  That's when Hayley joined me for my training.  She went on almost every long run with me from then out.  She was already registered to run the same race I was training for, and rather than train at her pace, she stuck with me though the rest of my training and the entire race.  I am so thankful for the friendship that we build and then fun times we had!

 Since Curtis had trained for and run a half marathon earlier in the year, I knew the time commitment it would take for our entire family.  And not only was I training for the half, Curtis was also training for the same race.  Throughout our training, he always put my runs first.  Never once did I feel guilty over leaving the kids and him to go run for over two hours.  After my long runs, he would be ready with ice, compression socks, chocolate milk and ibprophen. Curtis was a constant source of praise and encouragement as well as advice.  During hard runs, he would text me with words of encouragement, reminding me to finish strong.  And on one really rough run, he came to get me from the side of the road but pushed me to try that run again and get the mileage I needed.  There are so many cliched analogies I could make about training for/running a half marathon and marriage.  But instead, I'll just say that I truly could not have done what I did without my amazing hubby!

 Training for a half marathon is hard.  But it is worth it!  There were times when I was confident that I had made a terrible decision.  But I'm thankful for the awesome people who surrounded me and encouraged me to keep going, even when I didn't want to.

Run, Daddy!!!

This past Sunday, the kids and I watched as Curtis crossed the finish line in his first half marathon.  More significantly then that, we watched him work hard towards his goal, push through and injury, not give up, and obtain a goal that he'd set for himself.  

 

 The above picture was taken after we arrived to the race location, shortly after I explained the term, "crack of dawn" to the kiddos.  Curtis and I got our day started at 5am and by 6am all six of us were bundled up, heading to the starting line.

Curtis had been training with a group of people who were also racing in the Armadillo Dash.  They all wore shirts from our local running store, Brazos Running.  His shirt happened to match the Brazos running shirt I already had!  Don't we look cute in our matching shirts?!

 The kids were so excited to cheer their Daddy on!  I gather several different ideas for posters, and the day before the race, the kids and I made the signs, with help from a friend.  Making posters seems like such a simple gesture, but it really gave the kids a way to be involved and feel like an encouragement to Curtis.

 The call came for the 1/2 marathon runners to line up, and the kids and I headed to the stands to see him off.

 After we saw him start, we headed to the car to warm up, eat breakfast and kill some time.  On our way to the finish line, we had a moment to pose with an armadillo.  Who wouldn't want to take advantage of that?!

 

 At the beginning of his training, Curtis was hoping to run the 1/2 in just under 2 hours.  Just a few weeks into training, his calf started giving him some problems.  He had to back off his training, causing him to feel like he wouldn't be able to break 2 hours.  So the kids and I lined up, hoping to see him cross that finish line in less than two hours....

 AND HE DID!!!  His official time was 1 hour 55 minutes 18 seconds!!!

I'm so very proud of Curtis and this accomplishment!  I admire his diligence and hard work.

Notice my shirt change?  I had a friend help me make a shirt that said, "My husband can run 13.1, can yours?"  Curtis had seen it on line, but I convinced him we wouldn't be able to get it in time and that it was way to expensive.  I surprised him at the finish line, wearing it.  The plan is that he'll have a similar shirt when I finish my first half marathon.

Gulp.

2012: Another Year with Mr. Right

 It's lame and cheesy and cliche... but it's also my blog, so I can be lame and cheesy when I say that Curtis is absolutely the love of my life, and my very best friend.  2012 could have ruined us.  But it didn't.  Just like unplanned pregnancies, the death of a parent, getting married too young, having children with major medical problems, financial woes, and depression didn't ruin us.  By the grace of God, and because my husband is a faithful, good man, we are stronger and more in love than ever!  I'm so thankful that he was by my side as we walked through the trials of 2012.  I'm also glad that he was by my side for....

 ...celebrating silly made up holidays like Valentine's day with a smile on his face, even though I make a way bigger deal out of that silly holiday than he would like.

...rejoicing in our children's birth and God's grace in giving them another year.

... physical challenges.  He knows how hard to push me, to help me achieve my goals, while encouraging when when I feel like a failure.

 ... worship.  I'm proud of the man of God that he is and the way he leads our family in worship.

 ... fun nights out!

 ... sunsets and sunrises.

 ... moments of family fun, like blowing our diets to eat donuts with our kids.

 ... dancing, something new we tried in 2012, and love doing together!

... celebrating special occasions with friends, and having moments to remember how far we've come.

 ... my first time away from all 4 kids.

... purchasing our second house, and making it into a home.

Here's to another fun filled year with the love of my life!

2012: The year of the runner

While 2012 will probably always be remembered as the year was found ourselves being investigated by CPS, and navigating the horrible waters of having a child sexually molested, there were, of course many bright spots.

And, even though it's the end of January, I'm going to do some themed posts about what I loved about 2012.  Because God is good.  God is faithful.  And we're still standing!!!!

2012 was the year I really fell in love with running.  Curtis has always been a runner.  I remember when we would have fights during our courtship or engagement, he would run off the stress and frustration that he was feeling towards me.  And to this day, when I can tell that he's getting a little cranky, I'll tell him, "Go on a run, and come home happy, please."  Works like a charm.

Since Curtis was already an avid runner, it's no surprise that he started our Year of the Runner off with a bang, completing the first, the longest, and the most challenging race.  The Tough Mudder.

Once I was sure that he would live through this accomplishment, I suddenly found myself drawn to these mud runs that I knew nothing about.  So, I signed up for a Warrior Dash.  The day didn't go at all as I was expecting, but I did it!!

As the weather warmed up, my running slowed down.  All my memories of running in the late spring and early summer are memories of me trying to run away from my problems, talking with God, crying out to God for help.  I'm continually amazed by how God allows us to cry out to Him, and thankful that I found that opportunity in running.

Since my sister, Shannon, had just come home from Austrailia, and my other sister, Megan, and I were all going to be in Kansas at the same time for the first time in 18 months, we decided to do a 5K to commimerate the event.  We even had shirts made.

This 5K wasn't about our time.  It was about my sisters and I having the opportunity to do something together.  And I had a blast!

At the beginning of the school year, there was a shooting here in College Station.  For our quiet community, it was quite a shock.  As only a quiet little community can, we rallied together for a Family Fun Run.  Our entire family participated in the 1 mile run, which happened to my our kiddos' first experience running a race.

Though Benjamin quickly learned that he does not have a love for running, it was a fun time for our family, and a great cause.

Later in the fall, Curtis conquered ANOTHER Tough Mudder.  Seriously, the man is a beast!

And on a lighter, more colorful note, I participated in a Color Run.  Seriously, it's the most fun you'll ever have when running.

It was a GREAT running year for Curtis and I!!  But last year has nothing on 2013.  Here's what we have on our calendar for 2013.

On March 3rd, Curtis will compete his first even half marathon (without mud :-)) as he runs in the Armadillo Dash.

On March 23rd, I will run in the Girls Just Want To Have Fun 5K.  I'm excited for this race because though it will be fun, I've set a time goal for myself, and intend to run the entire course.

On April 13th, Curtis and I will race together, along with several friends, in the Fightin' Texas Mud Run, the first local mud run.

We don't have anything else officially on our plates again till the fall.  Then, I start to work towards my goal of running a half marathon, on December 8th.  The BCS Marthon/Half Marathon has a couple races leading up to the half, which I plan on participating in.  There will be a 10K on September 28th, a 10 mile race on November 2nd, all leading up to the half marathon.

And rumor has it, that Curtis and I, along with his college room mate, Daniel, will be doing a Tough Mudder in October.  We'll see if I feel like squeezing that in, along with all the other races I'll be doing.

Here's to a healthy, fast, injury free 2013, full of new adventures in racing!