40 day Sugar Fast

A week ago, I started a 40 Day Sugar fast.

For several weeks now, I've been struggling with feeling dissatisfied by my weight and how I was doing physically. I knew I could diet and lose weight. I could exercise and lose weight. But I couldn't understand how I kept getting back to the point of knowing that's what I needed to do.

I realized it was probably something more than just diet and exercise. But I didn't know what.

Then one day on Facebook, I saw a call for women to join a 40 Day Sugar Fast. The goal isn't weight loss. The goal is to tear down the idol of sugar in my life. I thought about it, prayed about it, and decided to join.

My previous experience with fasting has been much different than this. I've fasted from food for a day or two (usually in conjunction with a call from the session in a church wide fast). In high school, I participated in Lent.

As I prepared for the fast, I quickly saw how I was going to try to justify certain foods. "Diet Coke isn't sugar, it's a sugar substitute so it doesn't count." "That's a natural sugar, so it's not a problem for me to eat that." I realized that I wasn't really ready to break down those idol, I was just looking for ways to go through the motions of this fast. So with Curtis as my accountability, I set the guidelines for my fast. No added sugar. No Diet Coke. No desserts. I wasn't going to try to substitute my sugar cravings with natural sugars, but I wasn't going to totally refrain from natural sugars (that mainly being fruit).

As I start Day 8, I've had a chance to reflect on the experience so far. I also had a chance to really reflect spiritually yesterday in worship. The biggest thing I learned last week was that I'm so quick to build up other idols. As I worked to tear down the sugar idol, Curtis had to remind me to be careful not to build other idols in it's place. The Idol of Control. The Idol of Self Righteousness. The Idol of Busy. The Idol of Salt (who knew Pringles could be so tasty???).

This weekend, I found myself struggling in my marriage. I wanted to gripe and vent about my husband rather than speak highly of him to my friends. I only saw our differences rather than the ways God has used our difference to grow each of us. I was choosing to be petty rather than moving past minor annoyances. I was choosing to be unforgiving rather than being forgiving and gracious. All these feelings and emotions led to a restless night of sleep.

As I got up this morning, I was was planning how to basically be a bratty wife to prove to him what a lousy husband he was. But then a video, made by the woman who started the fast, popped up on my news feed. She talked about how at this point in our fast, it might be easy to let other sins that have been magnified (isn't that one of the goals of a fast??..... I don't know why I was caught off guard by it this weekend) take control. I clearly saw that was what was happening with Curtis and I.

So obviously, I have some work to do. And I'm thankful for the opportunity to do!