Help my unbelief

"Everything is possible for one who believes."
Immediately, the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help my unbelief."
Mark 9:23 and 24

This is where I am.

I believe that everything we're going through is working for our good and His glory.

I believe that none of this is a surprise to God.

I believe that God loves my children more than I do.

I believe that in all this, we are more than conquerors.

I believe that we are not forsaken.

But the road we're walking right now is hard. And the cry of my heart... my sinful, doubting heart... is the cry of the father of the demon possessed child. "I believe. Help my unbelief."

So what do I do? How do I move forward? I look around, and see the filth and sin of this world. I'm daily reminded that this is not my home, and that I'm simply a pilgrim, passing through. I want to be strong and faithful. I want my walk to be worthy of my calling. But I'm so sad, frustrated, angry..... and unbelieving. When I heard the song int he post below, lyrics were very convicting. And timely. I know I can rest in God's sovereignty, in His perfect plan, in His love. But my heart is struggling, at times, to do those things.

As I look at the situations we're in right now, I see the hand of God. I know that He is moving. But my sinful heart screams at me, "But why did any of this have to happen?!" While I do see the good, and the blessings, I also can't help but feel discouraged that any of this is happening, when God could have kept these events from occurring. While voicing all these thoughts to a friend, he encouraged me in something he had heard, and reminded me of something I really needed to hear. God doesn't want my children to hurt. He doesn't want bad things to happen to them. But as the Author and Creator of my children, He knows what events they need to go through to become the people He's intended for them to be. So he allows things to happen to them, because he knows how it will end.

My friend's reminder helped me to remember that though I love my children, God loves them more. And yes, He could have prevented the bad things that have happened from happening. But these horrible events will be used in a mighty way. The Author knows what events need to be in my children's stories, so that they will be the people he's intended them to me.

So, in answer to my own question, I move forward in faith, reminding of God's promises. And praying that Jesus would help my unbelief.